By Rosalinda Baniedawe Abajuah
Level 300, Communication Studies Student, UCC
Imagine yourself staring at a textbook, but all you see is a “playback” of that last text message: “It’s over.” If your heart is heavy and you have remained in that heartbreak for a long time, you are not alone, you are actually part of the 40% of students currently struggling with the lingering effects of a breakup. Before you rush into the next big thing, let’s talk about why your heart needs time to grow first.
In our latest episode of The Commversashin, we featured Dr. Mrs. Rita Holm Adzovie, Counselor and Head of the Counselling Department, and Wise Yayra Ocran, a Level 200 Communication Studies student, on the topic Heartbreak on Campus: A Survival Guide to Moving on Without Dropping Out.
Statistics suggest women are more prone to heartbreak, simply because women report it more often. Men, conversely, often suffer in silence because they “do not like to talk.” But both genders are equally vulnerable to heartbreak, Dr. Rita explains.
Wise Yayra Ocran shared a third-person experience of a breakup:
“My close friend, a dear part of me, was heartbroken. He was really devastated and even started producing poor grades. But he confided in me, and in less than two weeks, he overcame it. It was severe, but I helped him navigate through by advising him. The most important thing I kept telling him was that every relationship has a 50/50 chance, and yes, he sailed through.”
The discussion highlighted a common misconception: “It’s just a breakup, move on with your life.”
Dr. Rita, a lecturer and counselor at UCC, argues: “The heart keeps us going. It pumps blood and keeps us alive, and once it’s broken, the person is broken too.”
Dr. Rita challenged the traditional view of being “broken”: “I have gone through breakups, but I don’t think I was broken,” she said, emphasizing that emotional strength often comes from the ability to foresee an ending.
The podcast explored how personality and temperament, such as Sanguine or Choleric, play a pivotal role in how quickly an individual recovers from heartbreak and how best people manage relationships alongside academics.
“Those who are personally strong tend to recover faster, while others may need more time for their heart to grow before entering a new relationship.”
“While some manage to excel in both romantic relationships and academics, others suffer from emotional detachment as they struggle to balance romance with their studies. Some succeed in both, while others excel academically but only pass in their relationships.”
Dr. Rita provided practical tips for navigating breakups:
- Acknowledge the end of the relationship to begin healing.
- Realize that a breakup does not change your intrinsic value.
- Stop stalking former partners on social media to prevent reliving memories.
- Avoid places or things that trigger emotional responses.
- Seek out “something new.”
The final takeaway for students was the importance of professional intervention. Qualified counselors, bound by professional oaths of confidentiality, are available to help students navigate these “50/50” odds.
The advice was clear: maturity is a step-by-step process of learning how to move on and confiding in a trusted source, Wise Yayra Ocran noted.
Ultimately, heartbreak on campus is as much a part of the curriculum as any exam, but it doesn’t have to be a failing grade. By choosing to talk rather than retreat into silence, and by treating your heart with the same patience you give your studies, you can transform a period of “lagging” into a season of profound personal growth. Your value isn’t found in a relationship status, it’s found in the resilience you show when the playback finally stops and you start writing your next chapter.
